Sunday, December 25, 2011

The Dark Knight Rises Prologue Description

Here's What Happens:

Dr. Leonid Pavel is picked up by the CIA who take him abroad a plane and with him some men they captured. They ask some men about Bane, none answer but one, who talks about Bane's mask. It turns out that the man is Bane, much to Pavel's chagrin. When asked who he truly is, Bane dodges the question and states that if his mask is removed, he would die painfully and the only reason he let himself get caught is to find out if Pavel told them about his organization, which Pavel yells at, stating he did not. Bane inadvertently lets the CIA, well those officials in the plane, known of his organization by appearing and obviously they would want to question him. The CIA then ask him what the next step in his plan is, he answers that he will crash the plane, which he does and Bane escapes safe and sound.

Next STOP? GOTHAM CITY!

Friday, December 23, 2011

How DC can build a Cinematic Universe

Start with Green Lantern and then add Man of Steel. Finish with Justice League.

Amanda Waller works for DEO in the Green Lantern, not Checkmate, so this should be pretty easy. Destroy Luthercorp all in total and make Lex Luthor the president of DEO and the man in charge of the subcommittee that placed Hector Hammond in charge of dissecting Abin Sur. Then have Hal vanishr from Earth to explore the sector and protect it.

Here's where Clark comes in, he becomes Superman and when Luther realizes that Clark is an alien. Associate it with Abin Sur, whose body is taken by the Corps, but Luther believes it to be Clark, protecting all aliens. After Superman becomes a hero, he is confronted by Hal and bam, Flash arrives.

Thursday, December 1, 2011

Future of the Uncharted Resistance

Nihilistic Software is heading Resistance: Burning Skies, and after that is released they will probably do a PSVita sequel, likely called Resistance: Burning Skies 2.

SCE Bend is doing Uncharted: Golden Abyss, and after that is released Naughty Dog will probably start Uncharted 4 and not tell us for two years and then release it three years from now. Then the PS4 will come out and Naughty dog will switch franchises again.

Insomniac's kissed Resistance goodbye so I guess its safe to say that Nihilistic will take over it with a handheld Burning Skies franchise and then finally make Resistance 4. Or for all we know, Resistance 4 could be a handheld exclusive.

What about Uncharted though? I doubt that Naughty Dog is going to keep it after a fourth game which will have a heavier focus on vehicle use [remember, its not racing unless its in the title, like Nascar]. So I'm guessing that Bend will develop maybe one or two more handheld after the Golden Abyss and take over the series and then plunge into hell like Naughty Dog's other franchises.

Lets take a look:

Traveller's Tales made The Wrath of Cortex, a reasonably fun game in its own standards. That's why nobody bought Twinsanity and then Activision canceled their third game which would have finally brought Crash back to his glory.

High Impact Games killed Jak and Daxter with the Lost Frontier and now Mass Media Inc is trying to revive them with a remake, but I think that after that, it'll plunge where Crash is today. On the verge of a massive revival and pulled back last minute.

Saturday, November 26, 2011

Arkham Asylum, Arkham City, Gotham City

I am the first to predict that Rocksteady's third (possibly last) Batman game will be called Batman: Gotham City. Here is my guess for the storyline:

The Order of Saint Dumas take up high city council positions virtually taking over the city by controlling all of its politicians and richies except Batman. Batman then finds some troubling news about the Arkham City explosion, fearing that Azrael is actually working for the League of Assassins and goes to find Ra's al Ghuls body which is taken by Bane. Batman finds out that Bane has taken over the League of Assassins and is going to use them to destroy Gotham City using the Protocol 10. He then discovers that Hush has taken over the Order of Saint Dumas.

The game, I'm guessing, will be more RPGesque and you will be able to choose one of these endings: Batman takes over Gotham (or America), Batman takes over the Order of Saint Dumas, Batman takes over the League of Assassins, Batman helps Bane and the League of Assassins, Batman helps Hush and the Order of Saint Dumas.

Thursday, November 24, 2011

Bane and TDoubleDDeckerRises

So we all know Bane, Batman Forever, big stupid moron created out of a small stupid skinny man.

So we all know Bane, smart, hulking, big huge guy who break's bat's back?

So we all will know Bane who is an intelligent, terrorist who shoots down pregnant women while working with the League of Shadows.

Lets have a better look at Bane's history: After leaving Gotham post-Knightfall, Bane impressed Ra's al-Ghul who was looking for an heir to carry on his legacy after Batman duped him. Bane accepted, but after Ra's betrayed him, Bane destroyed all the Lazarus Pits in the world.

Now lets look at the Dark Decker Rises and the League of Shadows. Ra's picks out Bane to be his heir, then Ra's meets Bruce and trains him personally, seeing the potential that Bruce has. Ra's wishes for Bruce to succeed him, Bruce saves him. Years later Ra's attacks Gotham and easily bests Bruce in combat, but Bruce tells Ra's that he wont kill him, but wont save him [that can't be how it works... or I would have tried it by now... ON YOU!]. Bane takes advantage and viciously seizes control of the League.

That is my guess on Bane's connection to the League of Shadows.

Sunday, November 20, 2011

The Dark Knight Rises Prologue

Okay, so everybody's heard the possible spoiler about Batman 3's prologue. Well, that person is right. So what happens is Batman is fleeing from the police, injured, and is also being traced by the SWAT who have detained the Joker, but Bats escapes. Or does he? Near his escape exit he crash into two trucks, even more injured and is approached by Bane and his henchmen. Bane challenges the overinjured Batboy and breaks his back.

Why is this (or most of it) probably right?

Watch the teaser trailer again:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=q-Sktgm0aD8

Pause it at 1:28 and tell me, as the lumbering Bane approaches Batboy, who is that man with a gun in the corner? Then pause it again at 1:04, whats Bruce doing? Rehabiliting.

Now this is my guess to the story, the above happens and Bruce cant take it as being Batman anymore. He knows Bane is out there and Bane is controlling Gotham City in a bit of a Cold War and he controls it because he controls the city officials and he bribes police through threats out of the way and they cant do anything, why you may ask, because all lawyers, all bad cops, all judges and attorney's are part of the League of Shadows.

After Ra's al Ghul chose Batman to succeed him, Bane was pushed back, and when Batman, lets say, "administered" Ra's death in the train, Bane became the boss and decides to take vengeance and make sure he stays the boss by breaking Batman, not necessarily kill him. He destroys the Batman not just physically, but also mentally by showing him how Gotham falls apart without the Batman.

Now Josie Gordie Levitt decides to fight back in a sort of Cold War and attacks Bane, beginning to cripple the Perfect Organization. Bruce in the meanwhile begins to rehabilitate and administers all control over Gotham to Miranda Tate who could be Talia or the less known Nyssa al Ghul. Bruce hears of John Blake (Levitt) and reveals his identity to him, he trains Levitt to replace him.

Bruce, later, fully rehabilitated goes after Bane and to this point I'm out of ideas.

What I'm guessing is something involving Jean Paul-Valley Batman happens, but this would make an already puzzling film too long. Though I'm sure that John Blake is chosen to replace Batman.

Wednesday, November 2, 2011

What Defines a Tyrant?

Lets look at those who have been called tyrants: Lenin, Stalin, Hitler, Hussein.

Which of those four were really tyrants: Stalin & Hussein. Don't get me wrong, Hitler was a bad man. The worst man to have lived in fact, nobody in the world was worse than Hitler. Hitler was so bad that in Futurama, even the people in the future cared about his atrocities, things like that don't go away.

Tyrant definition: a sovereign or other ruler who uses power oppressively or unjustly.

Yes, Hitler was unjust, but not against his own people. No, let me rephrase that, Hitler was the most unjust motherfucker to have ever lived, and was not oppressive against the Aryans. His Aryan and Nazi class cared for him and I cant say he did back, but I can say that he gave them respect and good lives while he murdered everybody else (kind of showing who's special)


Now I don't need to explain why Stalin was a tyrant, but I'll do it. Murdered the most people in WW2, over 60 Million, during the war period millions of Soviets died from starvation.


Why was Hussein a tyrant, look at the Iraq War and Iraq Lobster. Phase one, paranoia - try to invade Iran because your scared that he's going to get your people to rebel. Phase two, distrust - murder your own people [Kurds]. Phase three, anger - invade your nations biggest ally  because they cant afford to pay you. Phase four - the fall, get your ass kicked by bigger assholes.


Now Lenin, Lenin was different than Stalin. Made a tyrant in the 1960s image fade 70's 80's, made a dictator in the 90's. Now, he was made a tyrant by the US discrediting the Soviet Union. They say that he and Stalin were no different, killing their own people, but Stalin did not know where to stop, thus making Stalin a tyrant, Lenin knew where to stop. Lenin did kill people, he was vicious and mean, but he knew where to stop. If it were not for Lenin, we would not have things on the Moon, or orbit the Earth or a Mars Rover or Iraq Lobster. Lenin was a revolutionary, Stalin was a murderer, Hitler was a nationalist and Hussein was paranoid.


Three are the qualities of a Tyrant; two were tyrants; one was the worst of all four; and one was unjustly made the worst, they never thanked him for starting the Space Race... did they?

Wednesday, October 19, 2011

Finally

Finally the Libyan Civil War is at its Endgame. Yeah, it took six months, why did the fucking Iraq War take 8 years? Why is the fucking Afghan Civil War have been gone on for how long now? Oh yeah, that's right: 33 Years! Yet this war ends in six months.

Congratualtions: Gaddafi - UGLIEST FUCKER IN THE WORLD.

Guess what, Gaddafi married his daughter about 33, to his first-cousin (her uncle).

Ya, what a sick perverted mothafucka.

Friday, September 30, 2011

Creeping A Missile

The Most Bloody Uprising in History: 2011 Syrian Uprising
The Most Dangerous War of 2011: 2011 Libyan Civil War
The Most Dangerous Situation of 2011 (aka: More Dangerous than the Last Two): the 2011 Egyptian Revolution and Post-Mubarak Transition

Today Anwar al-Awlaki died. A fact that al-Qaeda is breaking down. Anwar was a United States citizen born in New Mexico, he helped plan the 911 bombings. He has killed a lot of people. A lot of the people he killed were not killed by him, but by people trying to kill him. He was the most dangerous man on the Earth. Anwar al-Awlaki was considered one of al-Qaeda’s top recruiters and had been highly sought after by both American and Yemeni officials for years. Al-Awlaki was also internet-savvy, using his fluent English and Web presence to draw recruits. Experts say this is a future model for terror recruitment. Despite his pedigree as a internet-savvy spiritual leader, al-Awlaki was also a U.S. citizen, meaning some see civil rights issues in this situation

Anwar was worse than Osama Bin Laden, the man that officially planned 911. Anwar was the worst man alive in the 21st Century, no mistake about that.


But you cant always get it right two times can you?


Today, America tried to kill another Al-Qaeda member, or was it Taliban? or something completely different? Nevertheless that bomb did not hit their target, but it hit Pakistani citizens. The people in India are parding. The people in Paksitan are protesting. Those protests want America out, America destroyed Iraq and allowed the Taliban in because they thought Saddam was making nukes, it was a war of no reason. They attacked Paksitan due to its close proximity with Afghanistan and the fact that some Taliban hid there. They attacked Pakistan because it was at a Civil War started by the Soviet Union and Osama went there after bombing America.


Consider this the Arab Spring of the U.S Military Conflicts.


Due to the Tunisian Revolution, the Egyptian Protestors started what would become the most dangerous situation, 1000 people dead, 6000 critically injured. Sure the death rate is not as high as Syria or Libya, but if you go there, you will get hurt and you will get hurt bad. I bet you the death count and the injured count is being under counted. The Egyptian Revolution started protests all amongst the Arab Spring. Now it could lead Egypt to war with Israel.


Egypt's Bloody Revolution led to a short one in Yemen that I believe is ongoing. The death of Anwar is supposed to curtail this revolution Yemeni Loyalists probably hope that their leader will stay. Al-Qaeda will probably crack. The Yemeni Loyalists will fail. And America's fatal mistake on trying to get it right could start a U.S Military Revolution that starts when Pakistan demands the U.S to leave it alone. Will the U.S soldiers quickly leave Paksitan, take out all deployed soldiers in Iraq and quickly end its Afghan mission?

Wednesday, September 7, 2011

Long Vita Sony

Please Note that this is an Update of a previous post titled the Playstation Vita, this, however, adds three extra paragraphs.

It started with the launch of the Playstation Portable as a competitor to to the Nintendo DS. When one company came out with a new model for their handheld system, the other did as well. So this put Sony and Nintendo as the primary competitors for the handheld market, always releasing new stuff to compete with each other in every way.

This was until the Nintendo DSiXL was released; Sony did not release any handheld back, at this time people assumed it to be because of the PSPgo's failure. Sony did not even discuss something like the PSP has a long or short life ahead of it. Nintendo had already announced the 3DS.

It was after the Nintendo 3DS' launch that people began to speculate a PSP2, for about two month's these rumors were halted due to the many presumed official revelations of the Sony Experia Play, the Playstation Phone. Then the big announcement came, the NGP.

As the 3DS lagged in both sales and good quality games, with the most anticipated (yes, Assassin's Creed: Lost Legacy is not going to come out) being canceled, Sony showcased the NGP, showing its power to the max, without giving any specifics.

At E3, Sony unveiled the NGP's spec's and details, everything about the NGP was revealed from price to hardware. The NGP became known as the Playstation Vita and from its time known as the NGP, it already had a blockbuster lineup in its hand, Call of Duty, Killzone, Uncharted and yes, Badman.

Also at E3, the Wii U was announced, and upon announcement, Nintendo lost a lot of shares. The Playstation Vita was then shown to replicate what the Wii U could do and on a modern generation console, no need to switch to the future. It can do what the Wii U controller can do, but more, such as a back touchpad and co-op.

To show their advantage over the Nintendo 3DS and the Wii U, the Playstation Vita and the Playstation 3 showed off something they else they could do that Nintendo's products couldn't do: get good games and work together.

Nintendo then announced a new peripheral for the 3DS, a second slide pad to compete with the Playstation Vita's two joysticks. With the radical price drop of the 3DS, this second slide pad would increase the price by little, however, the question was then brought up, which games from the lagging selection.

With Nintendo barely releasing any original titles, with the only originals having been remakes and a Mario game; third-person parties too are making many games, compared to how much Nintendo is making. Nintendo's titles have been very good, a third-persons party sucks, ass.

The second slide-pad was created to give developers more room, but the titles released pre to the announcement will likely be stranded now, a new strategy for Nintendo to compete with the Vita, however, in doing this, it seems that all support for games without a second slide-pad will be knocked away. Due to the awkwardness of the slidepad's location, and the fitting location of the Vita's second joystick, Nintendo could discontinue the second slidepad before the release of the Vita.

Wednesday, August 31, 2011

Can Warner Bros amount to EA

If One True Media didn't just become a bitch then Crash Bandicoot: The Sins of the Father Part 8 would have been up already.

Her'es the thing, EA's stronghold in in TPS game's came from Lord of the Rings video games, they don't have the license anymore, but they have BioWare, you get one, you lose one.

Now Warner Bros has the license, the first thing they released was Lord of the Rings: Aragorn's Quest. It was an average start, a good game, but an average start. EA had a tremendous start and an awesome game. Warner Bros is likely going to be more or less consistent with their license, having given it to Snowblind Studios. It looks as if they are trying to beat EA's Lord of the Rings video game fame with Lord of the Rings: War in the North. If this succeeds, you can expect Snowblind to make a Hobbit video game using the Dark Alliance Engine while working on a sequel to War in the North.

This is how it'll work out if War in the North is successful. Snowblind will be commissioned to making the Hobbit video game, parts 1 and 2, which they'll work on while working on a sequel to War in the North likely. The Hobbit will receive positive reviews, but it wont be as good as War in the North because of the developers desire to work full time on War in the North 2 and because they'll have less freedom when making the game.

Will Warner Bro's Lord of the Rings best EA's? Look at the games:

EA:

The Two Towers : 8.3/10
The Return of the King : 8.9/10
The Lord of the Rings: The Battle for Middle Earth : 8.4/10
The Lord of the Rings: The Third Age : 8.5/10
The Lord of the Rings: Tactics : 7.7/10
The Lord of the Rings: The Battle for Middle Earth II : 9.0/10

Warner Bros

The Lord of the Rings: Aragorn's Quest : 6/10

You choose.

Sunday, August 14, 2011

The Playstation Vita

It started with the launch of the Playstation Portable as a competitor to to the Nintendo DS. When one company came out with a new model for their handheld system, the other did as well. So this put Sony and Nintendo as the primary competitors for the handheld market, always releasing new stuff to compete with each other in every way.

This was until the Nintendo DSiXL was released; Sony did not release any handheld back, at this time people assumed it to be because of the PSPgo's failure. Sony did not even discuss something like the PSP has a long or short life ahead of it. Nintendo had already announced the 3DS.

It was after the Nintendo 3DS' launch that people began to speculate a PSP2, for about two month's these rumors were halted due to the many presumed official revelations of the Sony Experia Play, the Playstation Phone. Then the big announcement came, the NGP.

As the 3DS lagged in both sales and good quality games, with the most anticipated (yes, Assassin's Creed: Lost Legacy is not going to come out) being canceled, Sony showcased the NGP, showing its power to the max, without giving any specifics.

At E3, Sony unveiled the NGP's spec's and details, everything about the NGP was revealed from price to hardware. The NGP became known as the Playstation Vita and from its time known as the NGP, it already had a blockbuster lineup in its hand, Call of Duty, Killzone, Uncharted and yes, Badman.

Also at E3, the Wii U was announced, and upon announcement, Nintendo lost a lot of shares. The Playstation Vita was then shown to replicate what the Wii U could do and on a modern generation console, no need to switch to the future. It can do what the Wii U controller can do, but more, such as a back touchpad and co-op.

To show their advantage over the Nintendo 3DS and the Wii U, the Playstation Vita and the Playstation 3 showed off something they else they could do that Nintendo's products couldn't do: get good games and work together.

The 3DS' sales then bombed, Nintendo cut its price by $ 100. Nintendo then lost a lot of money and shares.

That my friends is the story of the Playstation Vita.

Friday, July 22, 2011

Movies of the Decades

2000 - 2010

That is the first decade. The movie of this decade is Return of the King. Why? Its simply just a film about poverty, a film about two young businessmen who encounter a loan shark that one of the businessmen do not trust, together the two businessmen must stop the mayor who will get the city under debt. To add to that, the two businessmen have friends that are fighting a political war against the mayor. Now take that story and add: Hobbits, goblins, trolls, dwarves, elves, rangers, medieval weapons, giant eagles and wizards and you have Lord of the Rings. Think about that.

2010 - 2020

Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows Part Two

You want my reasons, check my previous post. I know this decade has nine more years in it, but I guarantee you, this movie will be the best, unless they somehow manage to make a ninth Harry Potter movie.

Wednesday, July 20, 2011

Goodbye.

Goodbye Harry Potter.

You were the first movie I watched in the theater, you were one of the many things that sprouted my childhood and made me the man who I am today. Yesterday I watched your final movie, it will not be the last movie I see in the theater. We all have to move on with our lives, and a simple goodbye can suffice to that.

This my goodbye to Harry Potter for all my viewers to see. People can write a million Last Apprentices' and Skullduggery Pleasant's, both amazing books, but there will only be one Harry Potter. With this goodbye, I say I have moved on from Harry Potter.

But now, I'm for better things (for my life, not my hobbies), like a career.

Friday, June 24, 2011

Dark Alliance 3's Story - Does Snowblind Own the Baldur's Gate: Dark Alliance

Well, I don't know the full story but I am going to give you what I know. Its codename was Project Joe Jackson minus the Joe.

In Dark Alliance II: Karne was looking to get the artifacts before the Harpers were. However, when the Harpers got the artifacts, Karne found out that somebody was spying on them and learned of Mordoc's plot. Now Mordoc wanted the Onyx Tower reactivated because he would be the only person who could enter it (He just had to add Mordoc's Gate to the tower) for his allies in the East. Now, Keep of Pale Night is located in the Battle of Bones. So that gives you Cormyr, not evil, Dalelands, Zhentarim controlled, Mordoc's enemies. If you go far enough east in 3E Forgotten Realms, you will get Mulhorand. In the Keep of Pale Night, skeletons come out of Sarcophagi, Egyptian themed. Mulhorand is also Egyptian themed. At the very end, it is confirmed, Mordoc's leader is a Pharoah God-King from Mulhorand.

He tells his cleric/or priest to ready the Tomb Soldiers and his Sun-Barge to invade Baldur's Gate and destroy the city for the sake of the Pharoah God-King's Sacred Mission. Now what could these Tomb Soldiers be? Probably just a whole bunch of those skeletons you see in the Keep of Pale Night but in greater numbers and possibly magic (Cant have a Faerun game without magic right?) Sun-Barge, this gives you few hints, other than he could be part of the Mulhorandi Pantheon, not likely, or an enemy of theirs, likely. Sacred Mission - Panago Pizza.

Now, like I've said before. I've tried to find out information on this canceled game's story. Its just not happened. Although, Chris Taylor did tell me it was in works at a time, he did not know the story or how far into development it was.

http://www.secinfo.com/d13nF9.vFs.c.htm

I have not read it all. But I think it means that Snowblind had the rights to make a Baldur's Gate: Dark Alliance game or just a Dark Alliance game (No Forgotten Realms at all) for a time, but they were not able to and in late 2007, the rights went back to Interplay. I'll update this more later.

Sunday, June 19, 2011

Online Multiplayer in Prototype 2?

Ken Rossman recently stated that there would not be any online multiplayer in Prototype 2. I, however, found two job offers (non-valid now) that said that Radical was looking for online programmers. They could be making an online mode for their next Crash game, this would not make sense as on facebook Radical Entertainment posted that Crash is at HQ, meaning that Activision is choosing how Radical makes Crash right now, and that they are working solely on Proto2. So, is there online multiplayer like Assassin's Creed: Brotherhood, or not?

Saturday, June 18, 2011

Baldur's Gate: Dark Alliance III was in the works!

Well after asking Christopher Taylor about the story of DA3. He told me that he did not know the story and did not know who to contact. Therefore I told him to ask Herve or Eric Caen, or just look through Interplay's records. He did, however, tell me that the game was in the works at one time.

Now, in December 31st Ballerium was canned. So they likely started work on Dark Alliance 3 after that in 2005. It was probably about 25 % done when Interplay canned Dark Alliance 3 as they were not able to fund the game. Interplay themselves were likely developing the game and not Black Isle Studios as Black Isle's last game came out after the company's closure.

Sunday, June 5, 2011

Call of Duty: Modern Warfare 3

This is not Call of Duty anymore. So why keep the title? People only refer to it as Modern Warfare 3. Call of Duty: Modern Warfare 3 is way to lengthy of a title. I mean honestly, way too long. Keep it short and succinct, Modern Warfare 3 works out just well.

Please, update the graphics. I do not want the same shit from Infinity Ward three straight games in a row. Now that there are three development teams, add all those Battlefield 3 features, you've got more than enough coders. Now do not give me a response, Infinity Ward, saying that it takes time and money. After Black Ops and Modern Warfare 2 launches, Activision has a shitload of money. Time, you have like twenty coders on your team Infinity Ward! Forty if you count the ones from Raven Software! Sixty if you count the ones from Sledgehammer Games!

Or, how about you get your ass over and back to ID Tech. That trash is way better than the IW Engine. The Frostbite Engine pwns all your motherfucking asses.

I wont buy the game but I will rent it to see the ending of the storyline and its other features.

Saturday, February 12, 2011

WWE RAW 2011 Vancouver Review

This was awesome. Fricking awesome. First off, I don't care what people say. It's not fake. Yes, it's fake as in matches are predetermined and so is what they are supposed to do. But they do hit each other. WWE Wrestlers actually hit each other. I had front row seats I saw everything. The punches were real and unless you have padding under your skin, you can't fake a slam. And then Sheamus, really pale dude. Got hit in the back with a Cindo Stick that broke and you could see a red mark across his back. What would have made this event even better, if The Rock was there. But of course he's filming like ten movies right now and doesn't wrestle any more. And no I'm not reviewing the Diva's matches.

Match One: Daniel Bryan vs Tyson Kidd: I didn't get why everyone was cheering for Bryan. Kidd's the Canadian. Well this match was for the United States Championship so that made it a little enticing. But it was an overall good match. They're both brawlers so it's interesting to see how this would go. While Kidd held the advantage in the beginning, a fatal mistake made things shif to Daniel Bryan where things shifted for basically the rest of the match except for one small moment where Kidd got the advantage. Brayan wins but Kidd had a good run. But personally I would have chosen David Hart Smith for this. But the match was still awesome as Hell!

Primo Colon vs Zack Ryder in a Sing-Off: Well this was interesting. Zack Ryder sung the Star Sprangled Banner or however you spell it. In Canada. But it's okay because he replaced every word with Woo Woo and Woo. And then Primo sung salsa before beating up Zack Ryder.

David Hart Smith vs The Referee vs Ted Debiase in a Dance-Off: Well first Ted Debiase did some perverted dance that was funny and then Dave did a weird dance nobody's ever seen before, it's funny, and then the referee did a hip-hop dance that was humerous and won the competition.

Match Two: Dave Smith vs Ted Debiase well after the Dance-Off, they had a match. A very good one by the way. I would have replaced Dave Smith with Tyson Kidd for this one. But it is still very good. In fact it was neutral alsmost all the way until the end when Dave Smith did the superplex on Ted Debiase. When that happened you knew that Dave Smith was going to win. And during the match Debiase got a microphone and said: "I Hate This Country!" His girlfriend Maryse, a Canadian, came out and sat on Justin Roberts lap made Ted jealous and then Dave Smith wins.

Match Three: Santino Marella and Vladmir Kozlov vs The New Nexus well this match was funny and Kozlov is huge. I mean he's a giant. First off Santino started and tagged into Kozlov who was beating up the Nexus until Santino screwed him. This match was for the tag titles by the way. After Santino screwed Kozlov for the rest of the match Kozlov was getting beat up until he tagged into Santino who did the Cobra for the victor, I'm proud of this Canadian man.

Match Four: CM Punk vs Mark Henry well first off, CM Punk came in saying Canada sucked. Everyone booed him and he shut up. Then he said he had the best hair in the WWE, best looks, was the fastest and was the strongest. This provokes Mark Henry who says Canada rocks and challenges CM Punk. And Punk does quick swift dodges and top rope moves to take down this huge guy. And then Punk manages to take down Mark Henry for the victory. But he definately got hurt. And then when Henry is leaving the ring, he looks at me for five seconds and leaves. Doesn't shake my hand.

Match Five: King Sheamus vs John Morrison that's right folks and in a Stree Fight. Well it wasn't in the streets but used street weapons. This match was awesome. Especially since they showed all of their raw power before bringing out the Cindo Stick. They both hit eachother with the Cindo Stick for a long while until Joh Morrision hit King Sheamus in the back with the Cindo Stick and it broke. And you could see a big red mark. Sheamus then brought out a chair to smash John Morriosn with, but Morrison turned it around and hit Sheamus with the chair. Then in a tribute to the Vancouver Canucks, Morrison won the match after smashing Sheamus with a Hockey Goalie Stick.

Main Event: Randy Orton vs The Miz that's right and for the WWE Championship. Randy Orton and the Miz fought neutrally unitl stupid A-Ri  would interfere and hit Orton. And then when the match reached out of the ring Orton smashed Alex Riley into the the steel steps. And guess what happened before that, Randy Orton hit the Miz with the RKO and A-Ri pulled the Miz's leg onto the rope. And then Orton got ready to punt the Miz and the stupid Nexus interfered. And CM Punk tried to punt Randy Orton who reversed it and RKO'ed all of the Nexus. And then I got to shake his hand. So all you noobs got poned.